Keer, your Epic Love Diaries storybook looks really great so far! I like how big and colorful your coverpage picture is from Rama and Sita's wedding. I also think your Introduction page looks great! I liked how you summarized what all of your love stories are going to be about! That makes me very excited to read them in the future. Rama and Sita are one of my favorite couples. I am looking forward to seeing how you add your own twist to each and every one of the stories. I did not see any grammatical errors. Your layout looks great, but I have one suggestion. You should add more pink or red because I think that would really complement your theme. I am doing a love story as well so you will have to check it out! I can not wait to read your future posts! Best of luck to you!
Hi Keerti! I love the picture on your post for the comment wall-- so much sass! That's so cute! Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for your input on my storybook project, Sita’s Story-- in Her Own Words. Your comments were really helpful for me to be able to see what I was portraying well and what I need to work on. I will be sure to look for pictures of Sita writing or of her sons in order to relate the pictures directly to my stories. Thanks so much!
Keerti, I think you have a good start to what will turn out to be quite the interesting storybook. I think you chose a good picture for your cover page, they both look so happy but clearly we are to learn the truth within your diaries. I think you could spruce up the background a bit more. You have a great background for your actual blog and I think that something more along those lines would really help your storybook to stand out. You definitely did a good job at drawing in the reader during your introduction with the hints of scandal, jealously, and untold love. Reading through the introduction I didn't see much in terms of grammatical issues but I'm sure we will all have a few here and there. The one suggestion I have is maybe hinting at what each story will contain while not providing as much background info for each of the couples. You could really draw in your readers with hints of scandals or deceitful acts rather than just setting the stage for the tale. Other than that I think you have a great theme and project that is going to turn out to be great.
Hi Keerti, I love how you used Indian images for you story book. I am not in this section of the class. So I thought I should have a look at the Indian section. I enjoy watching Bollywood movies. Yes I know it’s weird. My sisters kind of got me into it. To my surprise I didn’t know that you was actually going to use Hindu symbols, I thought I was in for story telling about the native Indians of Oklahoma and other parts of the United States. So it really has got me interested into wanted to read your work. I really love how you have an images of two Indian gods (I think) showing some form of love and affection towards one another. I also enjoyed how you have a collection of different love stories which I think works perfectly with your choice of title. I like how in your introduction you give a brief summary on each couples story. Which I personally think is a good idea because it makes the readers want to know their real stories in detail. I really enjoyed reading about Rama and Sita as I grew up being told stories about them and their love for one another. I am sure it is huge in the Indian culture also.
You have done a great overall job on your storybook. I love that you chose a great foundation for your storybook that allows a lot of creativity and it gives you a lot of room to work with. The idea of a “Secret Diary Society” is great. I think that writing from a diary perspective is wonderful. I was in mythology and folklore last semester with Professor Gibbs and I wrote a storybook from a diary perspective. I found that it provided an incredible foundation for me as the author to convey to the reader. I could literally tell them the thoughts from each character. So, you’ve chosen a wonderful method for conveying what you wish to convey via your storybook. I also really like how you have chosen to exemplify established love stories between the characters. You really covered your bases. Also, the idea of a “magic key” is really appealing to the reader! It creates a sense of mystery that I think he will enjoy. I only have one minor critique in relationship to your storybook – I wasn’t sure what you meant about the “movie trailer” paragraph at the end of your introduction. Are your storybooks supposed to be movies or diaries? I think you meant it allegorically, but I wasn’t quite sure.
First off, I love the little girl on your comment wall. She's precious! Secondly, I like your background and layout of your blog, looks super cool and inviting. Great job on your Storybook overall! I think your introduction and first story were good. A couple of quick changes you could make: I think that you should definitely cut some stuff out of your introduction. I love how you let the reader know what will be told in the stories, but I think you should limit what you say so that you can leave the reader hanging a little bit in the introduction. That way they want to click the next button and read your stories. Also, when you mention sharing juicy details and stuff in the diaries, I think you should add a couple of details to Rama and Sita's diary to make them sound more "jucier". Maybe mention how Sita is insecure about her clothes or something and maybe you can throw in a paragraph about how when Rama comes to the King's Palace, Sita trips and is so embarrassed and thinks Rama will never ever like her, but it turns out that Rama likes her more or something? I don't know, just some random ideas to think about! Great job overall though! Loved the detail and how you conveyed the emotions.
Keerti, Thank you for your beneficial comments throughout the semester. I think they have been great and have really helped me to improve my storytelling approach.
Hi Keerti! I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for your posts on my storytelling posts. I really respect and value your feedback and it is nice to know that the central idea or concept that I am trying to portray to my readers is being seen and understood! So thank you so much for your honesty and I am looking forward to hearing more of your comments!
Hi Keerti, I think you did an awesome job on your storybook website. The website layout is perfect, and very user friendly and I also like the fact that you have a lot of pictures within your writing to help readers visualize. I personally like to see pictures because I am a visual person so the pictures really helped me imagine things better. Your introduction was great. It caught my attention really quickly, and you made the stories you are going to tell in the future seem interesting by saying scandals and juicy details. It was almost like going to Walmart and seeing those magazines while you are at the checkout and you read the front page for scandalous things while you are bored in line. You first storybook entry was great too. You did an excellent job of conveying both Ram’s and Sita’s feelings when they saw each other. I have to admit it is quite magical to see that kind of love between two random people and instantly know that he or she is the one for you. Overall, I think you did a great job on your story book, and I would love to read the other diaries you will be posting.
Wow already have all your stories, quite the over achiever. Well first off the design of your webpage is fantastic. Most of the pages I have seen so far have been pretty straight forward and I like the way you chose to word wrap your pics and to not just place them in the center. It was a nice touch. After reading your first story I felt like you did a great job of presenting the diaries in a way that didn’t seem boring. Each entry was short and to the point and then directly followed with the next entry by the other person. This created an almost play by play type of reading of the story of Rama and Sita first seeing each other that kept the story moving. You gave just enough to hook the reader and then moved them right on to the next diary entry. The first two pictures you chose for your first story seemed to complement each other and the only real critique I have for you is that the third picture seems to not fit in with the first two so maybe replace it with a different picture, although this is purely a preference thing and if the picture remains it will not detract from the story at all.
Hi Keerti! I absolutely love the photo you have chosen as your cover page artwork. As you know, my storybook topic is similar so I might use that photo as well! I have not been able to find many photos that I like. Great job! Since you are covering multiple people it might be a good idea to create a collage with photos of each of the couples for your cover page. Your introduction is terrific. I really like how you introduced each couple so well and set up the stories between them. Can’t wait to read more! Awh, I think it is really sweet how excited you portrayed Sita to be when she sees Rama for the first time. It would be great if you added something about how her dad would probably not let him have her and maybe have her say something about how strong Rama looked. Her second post is a little less intriguing for some reason. I think it is because she is not being very descriptive. It would be great if you changed a few of the less descriptive sentences and tried to imagine how you would feel and write it as if it were you. Thats what I did!! It is so adorable how in love and confused Rama is at the same time. I love his descriptions of Sita. I loved all of your pictures as well, great job!!!
Hey Keerti, I just finished reading your storybook: Epic Love Diaries. The layout for your storybook is very nice, clean and simple. There isn't any clutter to take away from the reader's focus. The website layout is perfect, and very user friendly. I also like your choice of pictures for your storybook. Your introduction is very detailed and gives a clear and concise idea of what the reader should expect. Although I feel like you are revealing too much in your introduction and you should maybe save some of those details for the story. The wording in your introduction reminds me somewhat of tabloid magazines, and you are about to share all the juicy details about their love. I also went ahead and read Rama and Sita;s diaries. I like that you pointed out that in the original epic we don't really get much insight into Rama and Sita's feelings. I feel like you did an exceptional job capturing their feelings if we did truly get to find out about them. I feel like they are consistent with the way the story plays out and makes it that much more believable. I cannot wait to read the diaries for the other couples! Keep the good work.
Keerti, I really like your storybook a lot! First off, the way you organized your storybook is really amazing. You have a clean, easy to follow layout that makes it more enjoyable for the reader. I think what is best about your layout is how clean it is. There is not any unnecessary stuff to distract the reader, which is perfect. Your introduction is really good too. It really allows the reader to become familiar with your project and know what is happening. However, I do have to agree with Avi that I think your introduction is a little too revealing. Maybe you could try and leave the readers with some suspenseful moments? That way the readers will have something to look out for as they read the story. I really like the way you did you love diaries and how you point out that we do not see many details about the love between Rama and Sita. I think it is a great idea for a storybook project. I feel like you did a great job interpreting the feelings between Rama and Sita from the original epic and then translating them into your own thoughts and words in your storybook! Keep up the good work!
On first visiting your storybook I noticed the image of Rama and Sita at their wedding. I think this is a great image for your storybook considering the topic you chose. I think the size of the image is just perfect, and I also like that you centered the image. Overall, your cover page was very easy to navigate.
Love is a major theme in the epic and one certainly worth a storybook. I think your introduction did a great job of explaining the theme of your storybook and introducing the major characters. I also like how you gave us a little preview of the stories you would be featuring.
I thought you did a great job getting inside the characters heads for "Rama and Sita's Diaries". You did a great job expanding upon something that was not fully explained in the epic. During the readings I was always wondering what Rama was thinking, and your storybook does a great job telling the reader what was going through Rama's head. I enjoyed the detail you went into and the thoughts of Rama and Sita. The images you included complimented your story very well. I'll be back for more diary entries, keep up the good work.
This was my first time visiting your storybook and there were two things that caught my eye initially: I loved your concept/title and I also was really into the picture you chose for your cover page. It's colorful and pretty which is pleasing to the eye and is just something i'm a fan of in general. However, on your cover page you have spelled the word "diaries" incorrectly on the title and all of your sub-pages/stories as "dairies" which at first caused for a little funny confusion. I just couldn't wrap my head around a story about these people running a dairy, though I figured you meant diaries. I like your font and such, but am more partial to more color, especially since my storybook is lacking in it due to its theme.
As for your introduction, I again loved the picture. Indian art like that showcased on your blog is truly beautiful. Other than that, I really did love your introduction! It was fun and spunky! I felt like it gave some insight into what your personality might be like. I liked your word choice and felt like your introduction did a great job of letting the reader know what the idea is behind your storybook. It set everything up very nicely, but does give more away than I would like. I agree with other comments that have been made, it would have been nice to have a little mystery to leave me wanting more. However, I still liked the overall introduction and was interested to read more.
I've decided to leave your story for another time since there is currently only one up. I want to return and use your storybook as my free choice another week. I'm interested to see what you do with this!
Keerti, I just wanted to thank you for your comments about my storybook. I really appreciate your kind words. I'm glad that you have enjoyed reading about my "kids" haha
Keerti, I just wanted to say that I always appreciated your comments and took them into consideration. Thank you so much! You did a really great job in this class and I hope you have a great life and do great things!
Keer, your Epic Love Diaries storybook looks really great so far! I like how big and colorful your coverpage picture is from Rama and Sita's wedding. I also think your Introduction page looks great! I liked how you summarized what all of your love stories are going to be about! That makes me very excited to read them in the future. Rama and Sita are one of my favorite couples. I am looking forward to seeing how you add your own twist to each and every one of the stories. I did not see any grammatical errors. Your layout looks great, but I have one suggestion. You should add more pink or red because I think that would really complement your theme. I am doing a love story as well so you will have to check it out! I can not wait to read your future posts! Best of luck to you!
ReplyDeleteHi Keerti! I love the picture on your post for the comment wall-- so much sass! That's so cute! Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for your input on my storybook project, Sita’s Story-- in Her Own Words. Your comments were really helpful for me to be able to see what I was portraying well and what I need to work on. I will be sure to look for pictures of Sita writing or of her sons in order to relate the pictures directly to my stories. Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteKeerti, I think you have a good start to what will turn out to be quite the interesting storybook. I think you chose a good picture for your cover page, they both look so happy but clearly we are to learn the truth within your diaries. I think you could spruce up the background a bit more. You have a great background for your actual blog and I think that something more along those lines would really help your storybook to stand out. You definitely did a good job at drawing in the reader during your introduction with the hints of scandal, jealously, and untold love. Reading through the introduction I didn't see much in terms of grammatical issues but I'm sure we will all have a few here and there. The one suggestion I have is maybe hinting at what each story will contain while not providing as much background info for each of the couples. You could really draw in your readers with hints of scandals or deceitful acts rather than just setting the stage for the tale. Other than that I think you have a great theme and project that is going to turn out to be great.
ReplyDeleteHi Keerti, I love how you used Indian images for you story book. I am not in this section of the class. So I thought I should have a look at the Indian section. I enjoy watching Bollywood movies. Yes I know it’s weird. My sisters kind of got me into it. To my surprise I didn’t know that you was actually going to use Hindu symbols, I thought I was in for story telling about the native Indians of Oklahoma and other parts of the United States. So it really has got me interested into wanted to read your work. I really love how you have an images of two Indian gods (I think) showing some form of love and affection towards one another. I also enjoyed how you have a collection of different love stories which I think works perfectly with your choice of title. I like how in your introduction you give a brief summary on each couples story. Which I personally think is a good idea because it makes the readers want to know their real stories in detail. I really enjoyed reading about Rama and Sita as I grew up being told stories about them and their love for one another. I am sure it is huge in the Indian culture also.
ReplyDeleteKeerti,
ReplyDeleteYou have done a great overall job on your storybook. I love that you chose a great foundation for your storybook that allows a lot of creativity and it gives you a lot of room to work with. The idea of a “Secret Diary Society” is great. I think that writing from a diary perspective is wonderful. I was in mythology and folklore last semester with Professor Gibbs and I wrote a storybook from a diary perspective. I found that it provided an incredible foundation for me as the author to convey to the reader. I could literally tell them the thoughts from each character. So, you’ve chosen a wonderful method for conveying what you wish to convey via your storybook.
I also really like how you have chosen to exemplify established love stories between the characters. You really covered your bases. Also, the idea of a “magic key” is really appealing to the reader! It creates a sense of mystery that I think he will enjoy.
I only have one minor critique in relationship to your storybook – I wasn’t sure what you meant about the “movie trailer” paragraph at the end of your introduction. Are your storybooks supposed to be movies or diaries? I think you meant it allegorically, but I wasn’t quite sure.
Keerti,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love the little girl on your comment wall. She's precious! Secondly, I like your background and layout of your blog, looks super cool and inviting. Great job on your Storybook overall! I think your introduction and first story were good. A couple of quick changes you could make: I think that you should definitely cut some stuff out of your introduction. I love how you let the reader know what will be told in the stories, but I think you should limit what you say so that you can leave the reader hanging a little bit in the introduction. That way they want to click the next button and read your stories. Also, when you mention sharing juicy details and stuff in the diaries, I think you should add a couple of details to Rama and Sita's diary to make them sound more "jucier". Maybe mention how Sita is insecure about her clothes or something and maybe you can throw in a paragraph about how when Rama comes to the King's Palace, Sita trips and is so embarrassed and thinks Rama will never ever like her, but it turns out that Rama likes her more or something? I don't know, just some random ideas to think about! Great job overall though! Loved the detail and how you conveyed the emotions.
Keerti,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your beneficial comments throughout the semester. I think they have been great and have really helped me to improve my storytelling approach.
Hi Keerti! I just wanted to stop by and say thank you for your posts on my storytelling posts. I really respect and value your feedback and it is nice to know that the central idea or concept that I am trying to portray to my readers is being seen and understood! So thank you so much for your honesty and I am looking forward to hearing more of your comments!
ReplyDeleteHi Keerti, I think you did an awesome job on your storybook website. The website layout is perfect, and very user friendly and I also like the fact that you have a lot of pictures within your writing to help readers visualize. I personally like to see pictures because I am a visual person so the pictures really helped me imagine things better. Your introduction was great. It caught my attention really quickly, and you made the stories you are going to tell in the future seem interesting by saying scandals and juicy details. It was almost like going to Walmart and seeing those magazines while you are at the checkout and you read the front page for scandalous things while you are bored in line. You first storybook entry was great too. You did an excellent job of conveying both Ram’s and Sita’s feelings when they saw each other. I have to admit it is quite magical to see that kind of love between two random people and instantly know that he or she is the one for you. Overall, I think you did a great job on your story book, and I would love to read the other diaries you will be posting.
ReplyDeleteWow already have all your stories, quite the over achiever. Well first off the design of your webpage is fantastic. Most of the pages I have seen so far have been pretty straight forward and I like the way you chose to word wrap your pics and to not just place them in the center. It was a nice touch. After reading your first story I felt like you did a great job of presenting the diaries in a way that didn’t seem boring. Each entry was short and to the point and then directly followed with the next entry by the other person. This created an almost play by play type of reading of the story of Rama and Sita first seeing each other that kept the story moving. You gave just enough to hook the reader and then moved them right on to the next diary entry. The first two pictures you chose for your first story seemed to complement each other and the only real critique I have for you is that the third picture seems to not fit in with the first two so maybe replace it with a different picture, although this is purely a preference thing and if the picture remains it will not detract from the story at all.
ReplyDeleteHi Keerti! I absolutely love the photo you have chosen as your cover page artwork. As you know, my storybook topic is similar so I might use that photo as well! I have not been able to find many photos that I like. Great job! Since you are covering multiple people it might be a good idea to create a collage with photos of each of the couples for your cover page.
ReplyDeleteYour introduction is terrific. I really like how you introduced each couple so well and set up the stories between them. Can’t wait to read more!
Awh, I think it is really sweet how excited you portrayed Sita to be when she sees Rama for the first time. It would be great if you added something about how her dad would probably not let him have her and maybe have her say something about how strong Rama looked. Her second post is a little less intriguing for some reason. I think it is because she is not being very descriptive. It would be great if you changed a few of the less descriptive sentences and tried to imagine how you would feel and write it as if it were you. Thats what I did!!
It is so adorable how in love and confused Rama is at the same time. I love his descriptions of Sita. I loved all of your pictures as well, great job!!!
Hey Keerti, I just finished reading your storybook: Epic Love Diaries. The layout for your storybook is very nice, clean and simple. There isn't any clutter to take away from the reader's focus. The website layout is perfect, and very user friendly. I also like your choice of pictures for your storybook. Your introduction is very detailed and gives a clear and concise idea of what the reader should expect. Although I feel like you are revealing too much in your introduction and you should maybe save some of those details for the story. The wording in your introduction reminds me somewhat of tabloid magazines, and you are about to share all the juicy details about their love. I also went ahead and read Rama and Sita;s diaries. I like that you pointed out that in the original epic we don't really get much insight into Rama and Sita's feelings. I feel like you did an exceptional job capturing their feelings if we did truly get to find out about them. I feel like they are consistent with the way the story plays out and makes it that much more believable. I cannot wait to read the diaries for the other couples! Keep the good work.
ReplyDeleteKeerti, I really like your storybook a lot! First off, the way you organized your storybook is really amazing. You have a clean, easy to follow layout that makes it more enjoyable for the reader. I think what is best about your layout is how clean it is. There is not any unnecessary stuff to distract the reader, which is perfect. Your introduction is really good too. It really allows the reader to become familiar with your project and know what is happening. However, I do have to agree with Avi that I think your introduction is a little too revealing. Maybe you could try and leave the readers with some suspenseful moments? That way the readers will have something to look out for as they read the story. I really like the way you did you love diaries and how you point out that we do not see many details about the love between Rama and Sita. I think it is a great idea for a storybook project. I feel like you did a great job interpreting the feelings between Rama and Sita from the original epic and then translating them into your own thoughts and words in your storybook! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteOn first visiting your storybook I noticed the image of Rama and Sita at their wedding. I think this is a great image for your storybook considering the topic you chose. I think the size of the image is just perfect, and I also like that you centered the image. Overall, your cover page was very easy to navigate.
ReplyDeleteLove is a major theme in the epic and one certainly worth a storybook. I think your introduction did a great job of explaining the theme of your storybook and introducing the major characters. I also like how you gave us a little preview of the stories you would be featuring.
I thought you did a great job getting inside the characters heads for "Rama and Sita's Diaries". You did a great job expanding upon something that was not fully explained in the epic. During the readings I was always wondering what Rama was thinking, and your storybook does a great job telling the reader what was going through Rama's head. I enjoyed the detail you went into and the thoughts of Rama and Sita. The images you included complimented your story very well. I'll be back for more diary entries, keep up the good work.
Keerti,
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time visiting your storybook and there were two things that caught my eye initially: I loved your concept/title and I also was really into the picture you chose for your cover page. It's colorful and pretty which is pleasing to the eye and is just something i'm a fan of in general. However, on your cover page you have spelled the word "diaries" incorrectly on the title and all of your sub-pages/stories as "dairies" which at first caused for a little funny confusion. I just couldn't wrap my head around a story about these people running a dairy, though I figured you meant diaries. I like your font and such, but am more partial to more color, especially since my storybook is lacking in it due to its theme.
As for your introduction, I again loved the picture. Indian art like that showcased on your blog is truly beautiful. Other than that, I really did love your introduction! It was fun and spunky! I felt like it gave some insight into what your personality might be like. I liked your word choice and felt like your introduction did a great job of letting the reader know what the idea is behind your storybook. It set everything up very nicely, but does give more away than I would like. I agree with other comments that have been made, it would have been nice to have a little mystery to leave me wanting more. However, I still liked the overall introduction and was interested to read more.
I've decided to leave your story for another time since there is currently only one up. I want to return and use your storybook as my free choice another week. I'm interested to see what you do with this!
Keerti, I just wanted to thank you for your comments about my storybook. I really appreciate your kind words. I'm glad that you have enjoyed reading about my "kids" haha
ReplyDeleteHey Keerti, thanks for the feedback and comments this semester. By the way I thought your storybook was amazing.
ReplyDeleteKeerti,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that I always appreciated your comments and took them into consideration. Thank you so much! You did a really great job in this class and I hope you have a great life and do great things!